After much debate and self-reflection, I have officially decided that I will not be taking my old journals to college with me. This will be hard, because I frequently refer to old journals to remember things, and I will have to stop work on my non-fiction novel (Is that even a thing?) about the summer before my senior year from a lack of notes and facts. On the bright side, this decision ensures that I will not ruin my first semester of college by re-living all the guts and glory of my senior year. I can be really bad about getting caught up in the past. I have already picked my new journal, and I am scrambling to fill up the remaining pages of my old journal with stuff from the two days that I have left at home. I’m emotional enough that I might actually be able to do it.
I will spare you the terribly sad post of how heart-wrenching it is to say goodbye and move so far away from all these wonderful people who have inspired, motivated, and loved me. Instead, I wanted to share snippets from my senior year journal of what I have learned this year:
1) I am a homebody.
2) Emotional capability is a muscle. If it’s not exercised, it weakens.
3) Walking with God is not as easy as it was in eighth grade.
4) Kissing is not all it’s cracked up to be.
5) Thou shalt not spend quality time with your ex-boyfriend. Ever.
6) God answers prayers.
7) The end of Harry Potter was not the end of the world.
8) When in doubt, take the study hall.
9) I get along better with people my age and older, but I ought to listen to what younger people have to teach me.
10) Just like guitars, relationships that don’t get used go out of tune more easily.
11) You cannot set a goal to leave a legacy. That only happens when you live your life powerfully.
12) Friendships do not grow closer during callback week.
13) Too much truth can be just as destructive as too little truth.
14) God does not need for me to hold him up.
15) Sneaking out is terrifying. Never doing that again.
16) It’s OK to have a mid-senior year crisis.
17) What I do is who I am.
18) Paris is Disneyworld for lovers of European history.
19) It is possible to love a guy without being in love with him.
20) Suffering is different for each.
21) When I feel inadequate, I flee.
22) I cannot cope with the thought of being a little fish in a big pond.
23) I have always wanted to be a performer and anything I tell you otherwise is a dirty rotten lie.
24) If people are left alone with me long enough, I will poke and prod them until I have a piece of their soul that I can take care of.
25) I can’t wait to get married. Guess I probably need to find a guy first…
26) Les Miserables is an easier read than Lord of the Rings.
27) If you don’t know who you want to be, start with who you don’t want to be and work your way from there.
28) I can never stop journaling, because it’s how I learn about myself and the way my mind works, how God shows me his presence in my life, and how I make decisions.
29) The rehearsals are just as important as the performance.
30) Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor.
31) People change. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but that doesn’t make it any easier to accept.
32) Daydreaming about a guy screws up your relationship in real life.
33) Jealousy is an all-consuming monster.
34) It is the object of your faith that matters.
35) I can sing.
36) Befriending people that are different from you makes for some wonderful lunch conversations.
37) I have nothing that I did not receive.
38) It’s time.