I’m one month away from heading back to Belmont, and excited anticipation is tickling my toes. I’ve been processing my freshman year this summer, and there are quite a few things I wanted to share about how I’ve grown. I tried planning posts that were similar to “What Senior Year Taught Me”, but they didn’t convey the life or color that I needed them to. I couldn’t figure out a better way to do it than to actually post my journal entries. So for all of you who have been waiting impatiently for this day, enjoy. I’ll try to post them all before I head back to Nashville.
August 19, 2012
My dorm bed is quite possibly the most comfortable thing I have ever had the pleasure of laying my body against. That was a pleasant surprise. The air conditioning in the room goes and goes and goes until you’re about to go turn it off you’re so cold, and then suddenly it shuts off until you’re so hot you’re about to get out of bed to check if it stopped, only to start back up again.
I woke up early in one of the warm cycles, and since I really can’t sleep when it’s hot (Guatemala was a nightmare), I never fell back asleep. Instead, God prodded my heart saying “I have given you this time to spend with me.” It took me a very long time, but I finally did it, and here I am, sitting outside the event center looking out at the field, McWhorter, and a piece of the Nashville skyline. All I can think about is how perfect everything is. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever be homesick; although, as I say that, I remember that I have to say goodbye to my family today and bear the tears.
But if we’re being completely honest (and I hope we are, because this is a journal), saying goodbye to home, family, and friends is a small price to pay to be here. This- college- is worth it, and the independence and the opportunities make me so excited that I want time to move a little faster, so that I can start getting involved and really meeting people.
All this to say, I’m happy. I’m in the right place, and I can’t wait to see what happens today.
Today was a bit harder as it was less exciting than move-in day, and I had gotten up super early two days in a row. I had breakfast/lunch (I guess that’s called brunch, isn’t it?) with my family, sat for hours with my TT group in the Curb event center listening to pretty boring info sessions, and then went to dinner with my family. I am now sitting alone in my dorm room with some ambient lighting, listening to the sound of someone on this floor practicing her flute. I just said goodbye to my family, and I am debating whether or not I’m going to cry.
To be honest, it doesn’t really feel like anything’s changing. I think I’ve been mentally and emotionally preparing myself for this for so long, and as I told my family, I feel like I already live here. It was hard to see them cry, though. Just as I thought I was going to lose it, I walked back into my building, saw a table where they were selling dorm t-shirts, met my sweet RD, was serenaded by an RA, and suddenly I was alright again. I have a phantom pain in my heart, but I’m so happy to be here. The weather is outstandingly perfect- it feels like an early autumn afternoon- and all of the upperclassmen started showing up around campus (one of them waved at me- upon further inspection, he looked like Matthew McConaughey… I think I’m going to like it here). I still have a couple of hours of events to attend tonight, and tomorrow promises to be a busy day as well. I should probably go socialize now… Meh.