September 15, 2012
I am currently sitting alone at one of the tall tables in the cafeteria. It’s been a very long morning, and I’ve been in a complete fog the whole time because I got very little sleep last night. I have a terrible obsession, and I refuse to conquer the addiction.
Pretty Little Liars.
I got the free month trial of Netflix and made the mistake of watching the pilot of PLL. Since then, I have been trapped in a weeklong routine where I can’t remember anything but sitting in my room alone inhaling this show. I’m almost done with season 2, which means that in less than a week, I will have watched 47 forty-five minute episodes of Pretty Little Liars.
I was telling Megan yesterday (this may deceive you into thinking that I have communicated with my family or really anybody else this week- you are mistaken) that it reminds me of Christmas Break two years ago when her friend lent us Lost on DVD. It was like losing a week of life because we both sat there with our mouths to the floor, sitting on the couch in our pj’s for hours. I remember that sick feeling of not sleeping, forgetting how to walk, and not taking care of myself.
That feeling’s back, except I’m far from home, and I have to remember to feed myself and go to class and study and try to not feel so lonely here in a school full of strangers. I’m feeling really alone, and this PLL thing really isn’t helping, because now I’m jumpy when I go to sleep and all I want in life is to be Spencer Hastings and figure out who A is. It’s a pretty bad situation- not to mention the fact that I’m worrying about the dream job speech I have to give on Monday and how very little I have prepared for it.
I’m going to finish watching them tonight, and I’m expecting that I’ll finally be able to be a normal person again. This whole obsession thing that I do comes from my analytical qualities. Obsessing over movie series, TV series, people- it all goes to show that I like to know the whole story.
I want everything to be easier… I wasn’t expecting that college would be this hard. Nobody told me that- they only said it was a blast. I spent all of high school wanting to be in college, and now that I’m here, I kind of want out, too. Sorry for the bad mood. Heavy heart and lack of sleep. God, help.